1) Plant roses.
Of course, just planting one or two won't do. You will need to plant around 100 or so to be truly successful.
The longer you wait, the greater the reward!3) Weed.
No tools allowed. You will need to weed under, around, and through each rose bush by hand.
Repeat as necessary.
It's this continual practice that will allow you to master the art of contortion. To be a true master, you will also want to plant companion plantings around and under your roses. Then repeat step 3 without stepping on or pulling up any of the companion plantings. And be certain you plant the thorniest roses you can find.
If you would like to become a contortionist without planting a rose garden, for a small fee I will allow you to weed my garden. But be forewarned: it may take many, many seasons for